nathan drake (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sicparvasmagna) wrote2020-07-20 08:31 pm
sicparvasmagna) wrote2020-07-20 08:31 pm
(no subject)
He doesn't know why he's surprised. All things considered, it was a miracle that they got as long as they did, being where they were, who they are. He's standing outside Dimera, and it doesn't feel like all that long ago that he might have been able to see Chloe at her window from here, probably flipping him the finger from seven floors up.
He knows she's not there, and god help him he doesn't know why he is. It's nothing new, he and Chloe have missed each other and left each other and lost each other time and time again and it shouldn't be different this time around, except he's back here in this godforsaken city - alone this time - and it's nearly enough to make a guy lose his fucking mind.
Nearly.
"Pull it together, Drake," he mutters to himself, but he still can't bring himself to walk away just yet. Instead he lowers himself onto a bench across the street that has a good view of the building and pulls his journal out of his pocket. It's the kind of thing she'd make fun of him for if she were here, but she's not, so Nate can do whatever the hell he likes.
His pencil moves quickly across the page, roughly sketching the building, the trees bracketing it, the window on the seventh floor that could belong to anyone now, he supposes. There's an old but familiar rolling guilt deep in his stomach as he draws. Two days he's been back in this place and it's like the memories have come flooding back, like he's suddenly woken back up from the dream he'd been living in with Elena back home. And he had been back home, he knows that - must have been, by the way he'd turned up here again with new memories, different memories - but it's like he doesn't remember leaving. He remembers rolling around in bed with Chloe like it was yesterday, and he doesn't know how he's supposed to reconcile that with the knowledge that he also knows in his heart he was with Elena two days ago, talking about starting a new life.
The pencil strokes have gotten more aggressive without him realising it, darkening the lines of the windowsill until one particularly vicious mark tears a hole in the paper. "Ah, crap."
He knows she's not there, and god help him he doesn't know why he is. It's nothing new, he and Chloe have missed each other and left each other and lost each other time and time again and it shouldn't be different this time around, except he's back here in this godforsaken city - alone this time - and it's nearly enough to make a guy lose his fucking mind.
Nearly.
"Pull it together, Drake," he mutters to himself, but he still can't bring himself to walk away just yet. Instead he lowers himself onto a bench across the street that has a good view of the building and pulls his journal out of his pocket. It's the kind of thing she'd make fun of him for if she were here, but she's not, so Nate can do whatever the hell he likes.
His pencil moves quickly across the page, roughly sketching the building, the trees bracketing it, the window on the seventh floor that could belong to anyone now, he supposes. There's an old but familiar rolling guilt deep in his stomach as he draws. Two days he's been back in this place and it's like the memories have come flooding back, like he's suddenly woken back up from the dream he'd been living in with Elena back home. And he had been back home, he knows that - must have been, by the way he'd turned up here again with new memories, different memories - but it's like he doesn't remember leaving. He remembers rolling around in bed with Chloe like it was yesterday, and he doesn't know how he's supposed to reconcile that with the knowledge that he also knows in his heart he was with Elena two days ago, talking about starting a new life.
The pencil strokes have gotten more aggressive without him realising it, darkening the lines of the windowsill until one particularly vicious mark tears a hole in the paper. "Ah, crap."
no subject
"I guess it's this place's way, too," she adds, though she doubts it will be anything Nate hasn't thought of himself, or any sort of comfort. "It's... not easy, knowing so many people who've gone, is it?"